Wicker Park (2 out of 5 stars)
MGM/ December 28, 2004

Wicker Park bills itself as a thriller which couldn’t be farther than the truth. It’s simply an odd film where stupid people make stupid decisions. Stupid people in movies are really annoying.
Wicker Park is a remake of the French film L'Appartement, which starred husband and wife team of Vincent Cassel and Monica Bellucci (one of the restaurants here is called Bellucci's). The script has the characters do (or not do) certain things that force the story to artificially continue. Any normal living person would do the opposite of these characters, and thereby nullify the entire premise.
Wicker Park jumps back and forth in time. Two years ago, Matthew (Josh Hartnett) a photographer, met and fell in love with Lisa (Diane Kruger) a dancer. The two were made for each other. Then, Matthew asked Lisa to move in with him, and he never heard from her again. In the present, Matthew is getting nervous about his looming engagement to Rebecca (Jessica Pare). At a restaurant, he thinks he catches a glimpse of Lisa, and decides to spend all his time looking for her. The Lisa he meets (Rose Byrne) has some uncanny similarities to his Lisa like the same perfume, the same shoe size, and the same makeup compact, but obviously isn't her. Still, there is something about the memory of Lisa, or his pre-engagement mental state, that throws him into a relationship with this new Lisa.
It is not much of a spoiler to say that this new Lisa, really named Alex, has some sort of obsession with Matthew. See, the real Lisa is still in Chicago, and it's a matter of waiting to see what actually happened two years ago, if Matthew and Lisa will ever get back together, and how everything came to be in the first place. Worse, is that Matthew's friend (Matthew Lillard) is dating Alex, so that throws another potential wrinkle into events.
Part of the reason for the continuing subterfuge is the fact that Matthew and Lisa apparently do not communicate like humans. They do not leave messages, and in one case, Lisa stopped leaving messages after apparently a few days. Odder still is that Matthew has a cell phone but no call waiting. And everybody refuses to call each other, instead insisting on meeting each other at appointed times, which makes it really convenient for the other party not to be there. And also, apparently two years ago, nobody here had cell phones.
All of the characters are also a bit too one-dimensional. Byrne overplays the stalker part, and Hartnett is, well Josh Hartnett. As an actor, he is not very good at conveying different emotions and instead looks befuddled, possibly from trying to understand why his character is acting so stupidly. This is a more complex role than those he usually goes for, so it's good to see him stretching, but he should probably try to pick something better. Kruger just needs to look beautiful (well, she did just play Helen of Troy). Lillard is surprisingly the most affecting actor, providing some comic relief and a few quieter, more serious moments. Nevertheless, nobody gives a performance good enough to care about. Yeah, it sucks that Matthew lost Lisa, but maybe he should spend the extra couple of bucks a month on call waiting. The various twists and turns of the plot are just too preposterous, and are more likely to induce laughter than suspense.

King Arthur (2 out of 5 stars)
Touchstone Pictures/ December 21, 2004

The filmmakers behind the latest version of the King Arthur legend claim that theirs is the most historically accurate. In actuality, there is virtually no way of knowing who is correct and who is not, but one thing is for certain: this version strips away much of what made Arthur and his knights such an enduring legend. Gone is the magic of Merlin and Excalibur. The Round Table is barely there and most of the knights do not have enough time to establish personalities. The love triangle between Arthur, Guinevere, and Lancelot never develops. If anything, it feels like more of an attempt to make a huge summer blockbuster than anything else. Shades of Gladiator and Braveheart constantly peek out, but overall, King Arthur just feels silly.
The DVD boasts that it is an unrated Director’s cut and thank goodness for that. This is the version that should have run in theatres. It’s longer, bloodier and would appeal a lot more to the audience that was looking for true Jerry Bruckheimer gore.
It all fits in quite well with producer Bruckheimer's tendency to favour things big and loud over everything else. King Arthur is a mish-mash of big fight scenes, covering up many deficiencies in the erratic script.
For one, the characters are all over the place. Owen is the master of understatement. In many of his movies, he is the epitome of cool with his minimal style of acting, where deep gazes and a monotone delivery substitute for other things. As Arthur, he is dour and sullen. He fails to have an air of command, and looks pretty bored to be there, especially when the people around him seem to have so much more life, like Knightley (who often appears more prominently than Owen in the advertising). Her role is patently ridiculous, but hey, she looks like she's having fun along the way.
Despite all of its superficiality and penchant for taking itself too seriously, director Antoine Fuqua does make a pretty movie to look at. Arthur and his knights are suitably grimy, and the battles are big and expansive. There is a great scene were the Saxons confront Arthur, Guinevere, and the knights on a frozen lake. It looks great, but, like much of the rest of the film, is pretty stupid. A big waste of time and money, King Arthur is a huge disappointment.

De-Lovely (2 out of 5 stars)
MGM/ December 21, 2004

The best thing about De-Lovely is its soundtrack. Featuring Cole Porter songe done by Kevin Kline and the likes of Elvis Costello, Diana Krall, Alanis Morisette and more, it is an entertaining and delightful grouping of music perfect to listen to with a mug of tea and a new magazine in your lap. The movie however, is de-sastrous.
The problem with De-Lovely is it can’t decided what it is. Cole Porter’s life was quite interesting and would have made for a wonderful dramatic film even keeping the casting of Kevin Kline and Ashley Judd. But this film keeping hovering between musical, biography and comedy, never succeeding at any of the three.
The musical numbers are forced and awkward, seemingly coming out of nowhere and drag for way too long. The entire first 15 minutes of the film are incredibly confusing as one can’t figure out if Porter is dead and looking at his life, or actually trying to stage a musical.
While on a CD the musical performances by other artists are great, in the film they are distracting and some almost painful to watch. Robbie Williams looks high, Elvis Costello seems like he has no idea where to put his hands without having a piano in front of him, and Alanis Morisette (although looking very pretty) just seems lost and like she’s trying too hard not to trip during her dance number.
The next best thing about De-Lovely is Ashley Judd who, having stepped out of her tough female cop role, shows us why we tolerate her doing them—every so often she does some real acting and is wonderful.
Do yourself a favour and unless you’re a die-hard Cole Porter fan, skip the DVD and go for the CD instead.

Thunderbirds (3 out of 5 stars)
Universal, December 21, 2004

The problem with Thunderbirds is that kids will have no concept of the cult 1960s television classic this movie is based on, adults will hate the cheesy humour and fake-looking explosions and you’re left with a film that doesn’t really appeal to anyone.
The Thunderbirds are an elite rescue squad led by Jeff Tracy (Bill Paxton). Tracy and his photogenic yet completely uninteresting and anonymous sons pilot the Thunderbirds, a group of five fantastic vehicles. Nobody knows who they are, yet it shouldn't be too hard to figure out given the Tracy’s live on an island and are fantastically wealthy. Tracy's youngest son, Alan (Brady Corbet) wants to be a Thunderbird, but Jeff feels he is too young and cannot shoulder the responsibility. It's frustrating, because he has this huge secret that only a few of his friends know. Hey, why not a movie to prove he's ready?
The unrealistic proportions of the story fit pretty well with a kid’s movie, but director Jonathan Frakes does such a bad job with bad material that watching Thunderbirds is a chore.
Kingsley hams it up for his role, and he is probably just slumming for a paycheque. Anthony Edwards is pretty painful as Fermat's father, and everybody else is middling to boring. The overriding problem behind Thunderbirds is that there is no sense of fun. Frakes is trying to make a big action movie that is also a child-appropriate film with a moral, and in doing so forgets to put any emotion into the film. Sure the Thunderbirds look great, and there are lots of brightly coloured gadgets, but how good is that when nobody cares a whit about Alan and his friends?

Last minute Christmas shopping? We've got the answer! More Disney Treasures have just been released and they make beautiful gifts (or great additions to your own home library, wink wink). Choose from The Mickey Mouse Club (without Britney, Justin and Christina thank goodness, this one is the original of 1955), Mickey Mouse in Black and White, completing the homage to Mickey's early career with shorts icluding his very last balck and white one: Mickey's Kangaroo, and The Complete Pluto featuring everything you want or need to know about Mickey's best friend. They come in a beautiful sliver tin with a serial number, making them a wonderful set to give and get.

Two Brothers (4 out of 5 stars)
Universal/ December 21, 2004

In what is probably the most beautifully filmed movie of the year, two adorable brother tigers named Kumal and Sangha have the adventure of their lives. Done by the director of The Bear, Two Brothers has breathtaking cinematography, incredible closeness to the animal world and an enchanting story that leaves you feeling humbled and with a new appreciation for family and life.
The two tiger cubs live in an exotic jungle amid ancient ruins. One day, human interference forces them apart and one gets sold off to the circus while the other becomes the pampered pet of the governor’s son. Sounds like one got the better deal, but he ends up owned by a man who is determined to turn him into a prize fighter. Kumal is beaten at the circus and forced to perform tricks for an audience. Both brothers end up facing each other in the ring one day in what was billed as a fantastic tiger fight to the death and realize who they’re up against. They recognize each other and flee captivity to return to the jungle where they continue to be hunted because the villagers don’t especially like the idea of two tigers being loose near their homes.
There is very little dialogue in this film and it relies more on the interaction of the tigers with each other and their surroundings. Although it takes a couple of minutes to get used to (you keep expecting the tigers to talk, darn that Disney!) once you’re sucked into their world there is no going back. When people talk it’s actually irritating.
Two Brothers is not only a beautiful story about family bonds, it’s also a commentary on the maltreatment of animals. Several types of tiger are now endangered and we need to make sure we don’t lose these magnificent animals. Not convinced? Watch the movie.
For more information on tigers as an endangered species check out: http://www.panda.org/about_wwf/what_we_do/species/showspecies.cfm?

Newlyweds (5 out of 5 stars)
Paramount/ December 14, 2004

Jessica Simpson is laughing all the way to the bank. Call her a ditz if you like, mock the fact that she isn’t sure if tuna is fish or chicken or if buffalo’s have wings, she turned her show Newlyweds into a massive cultural phenomenon.
After the show took off, Simpson completely eclipsed her hubby’s music career which was the focus of the first few episodes of this series leading to what some speculated are current marital shakes. She went on to land lucrative spokesperson deals for Domino’s and Icebreakers. She appeared on every single magazine cover, quadrupled the sales of her latest album and became a fashion icon.
Why all the fuss? Well, Simpson has that charming girl-bext-door quality coupled with stunning beauty and isn’t afraid to laugh at herself. She is brutally honest and disarming on her reality show and doesn’t try to be someone she isn’t. She put her slobiness right out there, fought and pouted with the husband, Nick Lachey, didn’t hide her blonde moments (which we all have, regardless of your hair colour) and made the world fall in love with her.
Jessica and Nick have gone on to do two variety specials which are horribly cheesy but garner great ratings and are wrapping up season three of Newlyweds which might be the last.
This new DVD set of the hugely successful program is a must for any fan and is sure to become a classic. It features all 10 episodes from Season One, never before seen footage, interviews, music videos, and the best part: Jessica moments and Nick moments, by far some of the funniest stuff from the entire set.
Last minute Christmas shoppers, definitely keep this in mind and those of you who just want to curl up on the couch and have a laugh, this is the DVD for you.

Ben Stiller Collection (3 out of 5 stars)
Universal/ December 14, 2004

Although two of the films in this new box set of Ben Stiller fare would receive a higher rating than three out of five, we give the set this humble score because we do not agree with the choices of included movies. Reality Bites? Mystery Men? Better choices would have been Zoolander, The Royal Tenenbaums, Starsky and Hutch or There’s Something About Mary.
While we are sure this has something to do with studio releases and rights, we can’t help but be disappointed with the set.
Granted Along Came Polly is a great movie, and you can read our review of it here: http://www.relishmagazine.com/dvdsjune.htm. We also loved Meet the Parents and the edition included in the set is the all new Bonus Edition to preview Meet the Fockers which includes over 35 new outtakes. Classic and hilarious.
So while we think the set is worth buying for those two titles alone, we’re not sure what all the hoopla is about with Reality Bites which is a good movie, but not one of Stiller’s finest. We also didn’t really enjoy Mystery Men which to us, tries a little too hard to be funny.
Still, any Stiller fan would probably love this set and it would make a fabulous gift for under the tree. We’re just biased. We still think Stiller’s best performance ever was his guest spot on Friends as the angry date. But that’s just us.

The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (3 out of 5 stars)
Disney/ December 14, 2004

Despite the fact that it features the charming Anne Hathaway, the brilliant Julie Andrews and the stoic Hector Elizondo, The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement just never catches up to the hilarity, emotion and appeal of the original. This movie just sort of meanders from one place to another, without anything really happening.
This sequel takes place five years after the first, with Mia's (Anne Hathaway) graduation from Princeton. She is now to move to Genovia, where her grandmother Queen Clarisse (Julie Andrews) will let her assume the throne on her 21st birthday. The problem occurs when they discover that under an old Genovian law, Mia must be married, else she gives up the throne to the next person in line. This person is the dreamy Nicholas Devereaux (Chris Pine), whose uncle, Viscount Mabrey (John Rhys-Davies) has eyes on the throne. So Mia has about a month to fall in love and marry, not exactly the fairy-tale ending she had hoped for.
The big conundrum for Mia is now whether to marry for love or for duty. She gets engaged to the handsome Andrew Jacoby (Callum Blue) but there is no real chemistry. And that pesky Nicholas keeps lurking around the corner. She's obviously attracted to him, but he is after the throne. Bad, bad, Mia.
This movie was meant to appeal to young girls which means it involves pajama parties, singing sequences and lame jokes.
The one highlight going into the film is getting the chance to see Andrews sing again. This is her first time singing on film since her vocal surgery some years ago, when it was unclear whether she would ever sing again. Well she does, and Marshall ruins it in the spirit of corporate synergy by having her duet with Raven of the Disney Channel. Bad, bad Marshall. What could have been a sweet redeeming moment, turned into a cheesy lip-synching fiasco better left on the cutting room floor.
The DVD includes bloopers, a makeover, deleted scenes, Kelly Clarkson video (whose song I do not remember hearing in the movie) a personality quiz and something or other hosted by the Raven girl who really seems to want to become the next Hilary Duff. If you’re an 11-15 year old girl, this is the movie for you.

Yes, Frasier has left the building (and did anyone even notice amid all the hoopla that surrounded the Friends finale?) The smart people at Paramount realized that the Final Season would be a big seller and decided to jump the gun and release in time for the holidays, despite the fact that only three seasons have been previously released. One of the funniest and best written shows on television, Frasier is sorely missed and this four-disc set is a must-have for any fan. And despite its name, we all know this show was made great by Niles. Oh, how we miss him....

This seems to be Disney’s Julie Andrews week as the release the mediocre Princess Diaries 2 and this, the formidable Mary Poppins Special Edition. A classic like no other, Mary Poppins appeals to both young and old, and somehow manages to transcend any generation gaps.
Winner of five Academy Awards, Mary Poppins is the story of a family who needs help. They hire a nanny to look after their two children and she is “practically perfect in every way” Mary Poppins. She magically turns every chore into a game and every day into an adventure. Along with chimney sweep Bert, the Banks children Jane and Michael enter Mary’s magical world and before you can say Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, they become completely attached to their nanny and she decides she needs to leave.
Although today’s children might look at the animation and scoff, it was incredibly pioneering at the time. The scenes on their “Jolly Holiday” with the penguins are still incredibly effective.
Mary Poppins is a classic film that will continue to be enjoyed for many many years and this new fully restored and remastered picture and sound makes all the more enjoyable. Grab on to this gem while you can.
DVD features a bonus short hosted by Julie Andrews, games and activities, a reunion, sing-along-songs and a crazy amount more.

The Bourne Supremacy (5 out of 5 stars)
Universal/ December 7, 2004

Jason Bourne is back and man, is he one crazy cat. What could have been an incredibly disappointing sequel, turned into a well-made delight. It kept the formula of The Bourne Identity: espionage, romance, great action scenes and a non-stop pace that didn’t quit until the very end. And if it ain’t broke…
Most of the cast is back, the first's director is producing, and The Bourne Supremacy again moves at a lightning pace never stopping too long for the viewer to catch his/her breath.
The Bourne Supremacy picks up pretty much where the first one left off. Bourne (Matt Damon)is still conflicted over his lack of memories. He is having dreams of the past that he cannot understand, and he and Marie (Franka Potente) are currently in India, still on the run. Then, as always, things go awry. Someone sets him up and Bourne immediately thinks it is the government, and making good on his threat, he resurfaces to go after them. Meanwhile, Pamela Landy (Joan Allen) believes that Bourne was in Germany and murdered two of her agents. She is understandably angry and wants Bourne caught. Landy brings together all of the people who used to be associated with Treadstone, Bourne's old espionage outfit, in order to bring him in. Abbot thinks that she is in way over her head, and Bourne quickly proves him right.
The DVD comes with plenty of extras like deleted scenes, fight training, blowing things up, the making of the bridge chase scene, casting and a tour of the world to places where the movie was shot.
The Bourne Supremacy is a great ride and remember, The Bourne Ultimatum is still lurking somewhere out there.

The Terminal (3 out of 5 stars)
Dreamworks/ November 30, 2004

Despite that fact that he’s extremely over-exposed, has too many Oscars to count and seems to get in on every movie with great potential (The DaVinci Code anyone?) Tom Hanks is a heck of a good actor.
He seems to have wanted to take a bit of a break with his last movie The Ladykillers, and perhaps he expected The Terminal to be a sleeper hit but it never quite panned out.
The reason, we think, is because the movie is just too darn drawn out. Between its never-ending sentimental scenes and the fact the Catherine Zeta-Jones comes off extremely unlikeable, one wonders if Spielberg may have lost his touch.
Hanks, on the other hand, hasn’t and gives a terrific performance as Viktor Navorski, a man caught in beaurocratic glitches at New York’s JFK airport and forced to live there as he is unable to enter the USA or return home. Initially deterred and lost, Viktor begins to make the best of things and the terminal he lives in takes on a culture and air of a small town, complete with distinct personalities.
The Terminal isn’t a great movie, but thanks to Hanks, becomes somewhat interesting. It could have used some severe editing and casting changes in the form of Zeta-Jones. Stanley Tucci as always is a welcome face and creates a character that make a movie worth watching (see Shall We Dance and a million others).
The DVD lacks special features unless you invest in the special three-disc version which then gives you way too many. It includes plenty of behind the scenes looks and deleted scenes as well as the movie’s soundtrack. If there is a huge Tom Hanks fan on your gift list, this may be the prize for them.

Christmas Fare DVD Gift Set (5 out of 5 stars)
MGM/ November 16, 2004

If you’re looking to get into the spirit of the season without going overboard on Santa, tinsel and reindeer, this is the set for you. A special box filled with three festive (but not overkilled) movies: Prancer, It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is yours for the taking (or giving).
Prancer is a wonderful Christmas movie about a wounded reindeer and the eight-year-old girl who saves it as they form a lasting bond. After she finds a hurt reindeer in the forest, Jessica (Rebecca Harrel) is convinced the reindeer is Santa’s own Prancer. She vows to nurse him back to health and return him safely home. Little does she know her father (Sam Elliott) has a very different plan in mind. A beautiful film for little and big kids, Prancer has the holiday spirit without a ton of holiday sap.
It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie carries on in the fabulous Muppet tradition of laughs and buffoonery. Kermit the Frog used to believe it was a wonderful life. Now a very Scroog-y banker (the magnificent Joan Cusack) threatens to shut down the Muppet Theater and Kermit gets very depressed, blaming himself and wishes he’d never been born (hatched?) A rookie angel (a great performance by Daivd Arquette) appears to help Kermit out and bring back the true meaning of Christmas, bla bla bla.
With some absolutely hilarious scenes, this is the perfect movie for the entire family. The DVD features deleted scenes, featurettes, bloopers and more. Also watch for the musical number “Moulin Scrooge” featuring Miss Piggy as Saltine. Genius.
The last DVD in this set is the classic Chitty Chitty Bang Bang starring Dick Van Dyke. If you can’t stomach the idea of another Santa movie, this charming story filled with a magical world of pirates, castles and adventure is just what you need to get you feeling happy and joyful again.
This three-disc set is a great addition to any home library and will certainly keep you festive and occupied while the kiddies are home from school. Or give it as a gift to another perhaps not feeling so jolly parent. It will brighten their mood instantly. We promise.

As uncool as they may have seemed, The Golden Girls was one of the funniest shows of its time. It had fans both young and old, from ages 12 to 102. The humour is timeless and the new Box Set of Season 1 shouldn't be missed. Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and ever-cranky Sophia were four tough seniors sharing laughs and cheesecake. A family-friendly sitcom, millions of people sat down regulary to thank these four women for "Being a Friend." A great gift-idea, the box set comes with 25 full episodes and an awful Joan and Melissa Rivers fashion commentary. Skip over that and get to the good stuff. There's plenty.

November '04

Legally Blonde Gift Set

Stepford Wives

The Chronicles of Riddick

Monster Legacy Collection

Shrek 2

Ultimate Party Collection

Around the World in 80 Days